rom the “ Connections ” periodical August 23, 2000. by Don Henderson

CONSCIOUS AGING

Time passes and in the passage, things change. It cannot be otherwise. The issue of “ conscious aging” occurs only because aging, somehow, is not acceptable....and hence we have to admonish ourselves to pay attention.

The first thing we need to pay attention to is just the fact...... aging happens, and it cannot be avoided . Our cultural denial and abhorrence of this fact is evidenced by the billions of dollars we spend in hiding its telltale signs. It is also the basis of our neigh unto worshipful stance toward things young. Of course there is nothing wrong with being as youthful as possible for as long as possible, but the fantasy of remaining forever vibrant and lithe in mind and body is just that, a fantasy. By the same token, aging is not a disease to be fought off as if it were some flesh eating plague over which one might finally reign; nor is it a crime for which somebody needs to be punished; nor is it a sin, the occurrence of which places one in some kind of cosmic jeopardy. It is not even a mistake, and the innocence of youth, though indeed changed, is not raped by witnessing it.

With these facts accepted, we then have room to consider that aging actually has value and meaning . Aging is a part of Life; and there is much, very much, of Life that still lies ahead, if we will go with it. There are at least as many openings to feeling, at least three times as many openings to compassion, and ten-thousand times more openings to spiritual awareness as there were in our earlier years.

Certainly the values and meanings are different, even opposite, than in our youthful lives. At that time we were in the business of establishing ourselves. We did this by identifying ourselves with, and against, all kinds of things......our bodies, our family, other people, activities, organizations, religions, concepts, etc. Aging faces us with the reality that time will eventually take all that away from us. The good news is that it also faces us with the opportunity of finding out who we are without all those things. Actually, hanging out with one's own aging is but another form of the ancient and sacred exploration of ... “Who am I?” In order to effectively do this however, we have to cooperate with aging.

To be sure, even with cooperation and consciousness, it is not easy; it can feel downright awful with frequent visits from terror and shame. This is most understandable when it is seen that much of conscious aging is conscious dying.....dying to all we thought we were. However, it is devastating only if we hold unyieldingly to our established notions of who we are, unwilling to consider the options that aging presents.

So, the aging process is a thing to allow , not passively, but actively, making the effort to allow it - all of it - in each succeeding moment. It is there we can find there is so much more to what we thought we were. So much so that it becomes a Revelation........and a Peace........even the One that passes all Understanding.

“Youth is wasted on the young,” someone said. I would rather say that youth is well spent by the young. The wasting comes when youth is still demanded after it has been spent, because that is when aging is wasted. Please don't let the words that so many caregivers so often hear.........“I didn't think this would ever happen to me!!!”.........sneak up on you............embrace them!!!